Welcome to the jungle!

Ok, so I graduated today. It was wierd. The people at work were right; it is kind of over-rated, the whole graduation ceremony thing. Because of their advice and the boring practice ceremony, I wasn't expecting much. But it was a little more special than I thought. The best part was when we were leaving and we got off the stage and walked in between the two rows where all the students were sitting and everyone was clapping and yelling " o-five!!!" It was really cool to have all of that excitement around you.
I still don't think I've grasped the whole "graduation" concept, though. I'm never going back to high school ever again (nope, still don't get it). We never made a time capsule for Berman, so I decided to make one of my own. I mean, I'm not going to bury it or anything or tell myself I cant look at it for 10 years (cuz I know I would anyway). But I'm putting some memorable high school stuff in this box like projects I was really proud of or pictures, even a couple of other people's LJ entries that I thought were pretty cool. I'm also typing up a summary of memories from my four years. I know, it sounds cheezy, but it's actually kind of fun to think back. I don't really miss high school yet. Maybe I never will (I never missed middle school), but it was a lot of fun. I learned so much, and not just about school stuff, but about other people. I had a lot of really good times and a lot of really sucky times, but I've learned from the sucky times so maybe I won't make the same mistakes in college.
And now, as an official graduate, I can say that I am glad I took IB. As much sleep as I lost over the extended essay and all those dumb projects we had to do over Christmas and summer and all the crazy teachers, I'm proud to have that little stamp on my diploma!

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Jack Johnson "Sittin, Waitin, Wishin"

Okay so after recieving a generic rejection letter from northwestern and deciding that Syracuse is too cold and too far away, I've decided on UNC. I actually don't feel as bad as I thought I would about Northwestern. I bummed about it for a couple of hours, but thats about it. Anyways so now that I know im going to unc, i'm really excited about signing up for housing and orientation and meal plans and all that cool college stuff. My dad won't let me submit my housing form until he discusses with my mom about making me live in an all girls dorm. I'm NOT living in an all-girls dorm. Too many girls in close quarters ALWAYS amounts to drama and trouble. So after my parents see the light i'll get to sign up for a nice dorm (i'm thinking kenan or south campus because of the balconies) and really get ready for college. Yippie! Now if I could only get off my butt to start on some high school work... but high school just seems so meaningless when you're thinking about college.

Oh yeah, I read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand for this scholarship thingy. It's a beast of a book, but it was really good and very deep. I don't agree with all of her philosophies such as "your own happiness should be your #1 goal in life" and "encouraging selflessness is just another way for society to control people" but it does give one a new perspective about people and society in general. Plus there's a hidden romance. good stuff. i definitely suggest it.

Current Mood: excited

American host - day 3. Things going well so far. Marion and I get along pretty well. She doesn't talk to my family as much as I had hoped. I mean, stuff beyond the usual "What did you do today?" "Did you like it?" "Do you have (fill in the blank) in France?" When I was with her family we had all these really great conversations about all the differences between France and America from politics to movies or whatever. It was deeper than small talk. I want her to have the same experience, but it's kinda hard cuz my dad is so opinionated. He can't just look at things with an open mind. He has to interject his own right-winged, ultra-conservative opinion or else he'll feel like he's failed George Bush or something. Not that I don't agree with a lot of my dad's politics, but I don't feel the need to constantly interject them upon other people. I want to have an open mind. It's really strange to have to host someone. I can never just think about myself. I always have to make sure that Marion is happy and has things to do too. It's like having a child. I like to have a lot of time to myself, but I always feel guilty when I'm not entertaining her or taking her places. I hope I'm being a good host. It's so hard to tell because she's so polite all the time. I'm kinda worried about my senior exit too. I'm supposed to teach one of Mr. Walker's classes before spring break. When will I have time for all this?

Current Mood: irritated
Current Music: the killers

Yeah! So much snow that my nine hour work shift was cancelled and now I get to sit and lounge around the house all afternoon and evening. This reminds me of back in the day before I had a job when I actually had freetime on the weekends...sometimes, I would even get bored :-0. I probably will get bored today since I can't go anywhere, and I am losing the $56 I would have made today.
Also, I finally got accepted into a college! Chapel Hill sent me this nice big envelope yesterday. I don't even know if I want to go there, and I have to wait to decide until April when Northwestern sends their letters, but it's such a great feeling to know you finally have somewhere to go to college!

Current Mood: content

Yep, it's official. I have senioritis. I can't escape it anymore. Earlier in the year, it was ok because I was looking forward to France, then I had Christmas to look forward to, then it was the exam days and the long weekend. Now it's all over! I just want it to be May right now! I cant wait until may. Missing entire days of school for a couple of hours worth of testing, watching movies all day when I actually am in school, possible camping trip, warm weather again!!! Everyone and everything is just happier in the spring. Plus by then I'll know for sure where I'm going next year. Right now, everything is just so BLAH. Nothing is going bad, but nothing is really great either, its just blah. I really was sick today though, but it was still a relif to head home at 9 am, watch a couple hours of TV and take a long nap. I hate january.

Current Mood: blah

ok, so a couple of weeks ago my grandmother gave me this nice information about an elks scholarship I can win. You can get up to $60,000. So I went to all the trouble of having Mrs. Moran and rev. Proctor (key club guy) fill out reccomendations. But me, being the procrastanator that I am decided to wait until the night before the application was due (last night) to open the packet to see what kind of dumb essay I had to write. OH! There's a counselor reccomendation form too! Now I can't submit the entire thing because I didn't take five minutes to ask Mrs. Fleener to fill out a dumb form!!! Life would be so much easier if I planned ahead. On the plus side, this does free up my morning now that I dont have to write an essay or drive down to Arrowwood road to drop this thing off....Yeah.

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Breakin' by "Music" -good song!

Wow, its been almost four months since my last entry.  I just can never seem to get into that live journal writing mood.  I guess I'll never be hard core like Ashley.  I really should be doing my math.  But I think I have finally gotten to the point where I'm like "screw it!" I just want to give up on math for now and pick back up with the rest of the class after the exam.  Im glad i went to france, but I almost wish I had gone in the summer.  Schools not really gonna be that bad this semester though.  Especially with the french kids coming in march and stuff.  And today was actually a really easy day which is always good for a first day back.  The hardest thing I did all day was write down Ms. Spark's "study guide" for the exam.  I know a lot of people rag on ms Sparks, but she definitely won some bonus points with me as far as the exam goes.  She just gave us all of the answers!  I hope my other teachers are as good.  Esp. mrs tingley.  If she really makes turn in our projects on thursday, im going to die! 

Current Mood: complacent

Well key club started today. I didn't think I would be that nervous until I got up there and started talking. I didn't even have to talk that much compared to Laura. But then I started giving my speel and yeah I got really nervous about halfway through the speech. I was like psyching myself out for no reason. I hope I sounded okay. I don't know what I would have done without my notes.
In other news, today wasn't half bad. I didn't really study for Bio test, but I think I did ok (not including the nitrogen part). And we read more essays in Tok. The one I read was really funny. I think whoever wrote it was foreign but decided to write in English anyways. All of their examples were about how materialistic and greedy americans are and how our "educated" people know nothing about the three R's but know every movie stars and everything about them because that's what Americans think is important. This guy was watching Jay Leno and thought it was like a real news broadcast or something. It made me wonder if foreign people think that all americans are just like the people on our TV shows where all the girls are size two's and total sluts and everyone is really rich and never worries about money or anything. hmm...no wonder they can't stand us...effing foreigners!

I finished my ToK essay and it's only 7 o clock!!! Wa-hoo! Yippie! Halaliuja!!! Hary Krishna! I feel so free! To much deep thinking in last two hours. Must now revert to simple thoughts to offset the badness to my brain.

Current Mood: weird

This was a very interesting weekend. I was supposed to work for eight hours yesterday, but my manager called me up and asked me if I wouldn't mind not working which kind of made me sad because it was David's last day and I wanted to say goodbye to him, plus I need the money so that I can save up for France and Disney and all of the other stuff I've commited to spending money on. So I was really down and had nothing to do so I ended up going to my grandmother's house with my parents which actually didn't end up that bad except for that we went to my least favorite restaurant EVER CiCi's! Yuck! Then today, I didn't do anything either. Unless you count two yelling matches with my dad or going to Barnes and Nobles while my parents are counting the offering $ after church and looking thru a big scholarship book which I had no money to buy. I ended up calling my home phone with the web addresses of the scholarships that I liked, but I felt like I was doing something wrong and I spoke so softly that I couldn't hear myself when I listened to the message. Tonight we rented movies. I've done nothing all weekend which makes me feel kinda lonley but also dissapointed because I should have used my free time for something constructive like one of the million projects we have to do. Oh well, I bitch and moan when I have too much going on, then I bitch and moan when I have nothing going on. I'm never perfectly content except for a few isolated moments which always seem much more glorious in hindsight.

Current Mood: discontent

Work was a lot of fun tonight. I'm always happy when I get register. This guy at work who I had a crush on last year came from summer break, and now I'm kinda like "What did I see in him?" he's kinda cute, but he seems to be really into himself. Anyways, one of my other work friends is leaving after next week. I'm really gonna miss him. There are not a lot of people in this world who I truly can be myself around and not get shy or self-conscious, and he was one of them. I wish he went to Independence, but no such luck.
I wish I had plans tonight. I'm bored. I'm also tired, but I don't want to go to bed...maybe I'll go to sparksnotes and take one of those cool quizzes.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Dave Matthews!

Well the beach was awesome. I always worry too much about things that turn out to be no big deal. If the guy even noticed that we were under 18, then he didn't care anyways, so we checked in fine. On our first day there, there were a lot of big waves and stuff because of that storm Alexander that was coming. So we stayed out in the ocean for a long time with out boogie board going over and under all these big waves. I guess we were out a little farther than we thougt because when we came back in this 40 year old guy came up to us and said he was watching us to make sure we were okay because he thought we'd gone out too far and we should try to stay closer to shore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever! I think he was just pissed off because our umbrella came out of the sand and hit his wife in the head (hehehe). On Tuesday we went to myrtle beach. I wish we had a Hard Rock Cafe in Charlotte. That place is soooo cool. And the music is awesome. We were sitting right under a TV, though, so we had to kind or crane our necks to see the videos. We also saw that movie "The Village" that is a GOOD movie! Go see it.

I have to work today which I'm really not looking forward to because it's that stupid tax free weekend, so it's gonna take me FOREVER to find somewhere to park! And it's gonna be so crowded in the mall. Hopefully, people won't really come to FYE because you still have to pay taxes on CD's. I'm feeling really good today. Probably because I worked out this morning and I always feel good after I work out. Endorphins and junk. One week left until school starts! I still have two essays, half of biology, and that whole history thing to do. Plus I have to finish my internship and go to the county commissioners meeting on Tuesday night which will probably take 4-5 hours. Yuck! If I do become a journalist, I will NEVER cover the government section! It's sooo boring!

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Jefferson Airplane (Dont you want somebody to love?)

Well my alarm clock isn't supposed to go off for another hour, but I'm up anyways, and I'm kinda jittery so I know I can't get back to sleep. I guess I'm kinda nervous about going on a vacation without my parents or other adults to "supervise" me. I really don't know what to expect from this trip. Part of me is looking forward to it because it's just me and Kelsey, so we won't have to worry about our parents always looking over our shoulders and telling us what we're going to do when. But at the same time, it's like well, I hope we don't get sick of each other or our car doesn't break down in the middle of nowhere or they don't let us check in cuz we're not eighteen.                                                                                                                                      I'll be really pissed off if that happens. I'm also kinda worried cuz I know my senior year is gonna be really busy. I've got work and soccer and key club this fall not to mention all of the hours of community service I have to finish not to mention that stupid extended essay and senior exit project, and the whole people section of the yearbook that I have to create before January and the essays for the applications for college which really sound like they were made by someone from IB because they're all really BS questions anyways like: U.S. President Richard Nixon (1969-74) stated, "The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger, the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.'' In what "crisis" situation were you aware of the danger but were able to seize the opportunity, and how did this experience affect your future actions? Crisis? give me a break! I'm seventeen, I've never been in a crisis!!!  It's crazy tring to think of interesting answers to all of those questions.  You can never just write the first thing that comes to your mind because it's probably the first thing that comes to everyone else's mind too, and you want your essay to be unique.                                                                                                                        

I guess I'm ranting.   

Current Mood: anxious

So I planned on starting my livejournal in june and writing in it all summer, but I just got too lazy. So I just read other people's journal's but never bothered to write in my own. I've been working a lot which is very boring, but also kinda relaxing. What better to take your mind off of things than standing in the isle between "mature videos" and "music videos" for eons at a time? I got this internship at the Charlotte Observer which was really boring at first, but now I get to write a story so I'm excited, but kind of nervous because I have to interview this lady and her son and everything. Of course, she has no idea that I have no idea what I'm doing, so as long as it stays that way, I think I'll be alright.
Next Monday, Kelsey and I are going to the beach. My last vacation of my last summer in high school. Neither of us have been to Ocean Isle before so we got the frickin directions off of Mapquest. I hope we don't get lost and end up in Virginia or something. Sometimes that Mapquest is kinda screwy. At least I'll finally get my summer tan.
Well folks, I guess I should post my schedule before I go:

1 Government Kirkpatrick (it was either that or human anatomy. yuck!)
2 Intl Hist Tingley
3 Bio 3 Martz
4 Yearbook Dotson
5 English Sparks
6 French Moran
7 TOK Berman
8 Methods2 Matthews

Current Mood: blah